I am crying at literally everything. The most insane things are making me sad. for instance I got dressed this afternoon and head out to work with my hubby (we don't need to be at work till 2pm) and I notice after I get to work that I have a not incignificant sized stain on my shirt from the chocolate bar the hubbster got me, and I start crying. Over a stain. I also cried today because I feel like I am being snappy with my husband, which I hate because I love him so much, and I don't want to be a pissy wife. And now I am crying again. At work.
I am not sure if it is all hormones either. I am sure they play a part. Mostly I think it is just sadness at another failed cycle. I know it isn't official until I get the blood work. But I pretty much already know that this cycle didn't work. I have taken three home pregnancy tests now and all three of them have been negative. I am only 12 days post IUI right now, so it is still early, but I just know that the results aren't going to change no matter how many days I do them. Monday I have my appointment to go get my blood test, and I am dreading the call I will get from the nurse telling me I am not pregnant. She is such a nice lady and she has the best bad news voice, but hearing the words make it so final. No more hope, it is just over.
On a side note, I think I am doing well with the weight loss, but don't know for sure b/c our dog broke my scale. But my jeans are loser so that is a good sign. Plus the low fiber diet is doing wonders for my Crohns, I haven't had even a tiny bit of pain or nausea since I have been sticking to the low fiber thing. So at least one thing is going my way.
I'm thinking of you. You are so strong, and good things will come.
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