Sunday, January 3, 2010

Our Infertility Story So Far.....

So here is the deal. I got married on 10-10-08 in a gorgeous mountain top ceremony to the man of my dreams. I went off of the Depo shot the month before the wedding. DH gave me an economy sized box of condoms on our wedding night and said when they were gone we could start trying to get PG. The day we got back from our honeymoon our 90 pound dog shredded them. Good Doggie. So we started TTC in October of 2008. I became obsessed. I would run to the bathroom five or six times a day to check for my period, which I hadn't gotten since I went on Depo, or doing pregnancy test upon pregnancy test.

Around comes April '09, still no period, so I go to my OB. He tells me it can take up two years to get a regular cycle back after being on Depo! What?!?! This would have been nice to know before you suggested it for me. I chew him out. He suggests we jump start my cycle with some provera. I get my first period in about 2 years in May of 2009. Then nothing. At this point I am doing Ovulation predictor kits every day in hopes that we will catch my first ovulation. June I go back to the OB. He puts me on provera to get another period, and suggests I go see a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). I call the RE he suggests, get all the paperwork in the mail, send it back in. Two days after mailing it in I get a call from one of the nurses at the RE's office while I am on my way into work. The RE will not even begin testing me until I lose 100 pounds.

I am devastated. I have always been a big girl. That is what happens when you have my genetics and you love baking and you loving sitting on the couch watching movies and you hate working out. I never particularly liked being big, but I had come to accept it as who I was, and my husband loves the way I look, so I was ok with it. I was shocked a doctor would refuse to even run tests on me because of my weight. I ended up having to pull over because I was sobbing so hard, and was barely able to keep it together for work.

I make an appt with my OB and tell him what the RE said. He is surprised and embarrassed that he sent me there, and says he will start me on Clomid and order a Semen Analysis (SA) for my husband. The SA comes back perfect (which hubby is very proud of) and I start the Clomid. Hubby and I do the deed every other day for the whole month. But nothing, I get my period. Same with the second month on Clomid.

I continued the search for an RE, and finally find one (after two more devastating conversations.) He is an hour away, but never once mentions my weight, and when I brought up what the other REs said his only response is "I know those guys, I am way nicer." I think I just fell in love with my RE. He explains that my OB was doing my Clomid cycles wrong, and suggests that we start doing IUI's with clomid. proper monitoring, and a trigger shot. I am so relieved and excited I can't even explain it. I was sure I would get PG on the first IUI. Wrong Again.

Last week I did an HSG, basically an x-ray of your uterus and tubes. It hurt like crazy b/c as it turns out, my right tube is blocked. I try and stay positive, it is ok I still have my left tube and ovary. Wrong again. At my monitoring appointment the next day the right ovary has a good looking egg, and the left has nothing, this is the 2nd month lefty hasn't produced an egg. Stupid lefty. They cancel my 2nd IUI.

I was pretty upset at this point. I always just figured we would get married and - BAM - have a baby. Here we were, one year and 3 months later, and we just keep getting bad news. But it has been a week, and even though I hate knowing there is next to no chance to get pregnant this month, I am getting past it. Thinking about the next cycle helps. As do other projects... but since this is a veeeery long post I will save my coping methods for another time.

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