I haven't posted in a very long time, mostly because I have been incredibly busy. I got a promotion at work, I was helping my sister plan and execute her wedding, we got a new puppy, and that is just to name a few things. I will catch you up on all that in a little bit.
In just a couple minutes I will be heading out the door for my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork, so here I am again. There is a pile of meds on our Booze Bar, I have my bases covered at work for the hand full of days I will need off for the cycle, and I have a healthy level of optimism, hope, and nerves brewing inside of me.
There are so many things we are doing differently with this cycle... going on blood thinners (which really sting by the way) for the immune problems that we discovered in all my bloodwork, I am going to be on a lot more hormones this time around, and we will be doing genetic testing on the embryos as well. I really hope that all of these things will bring us our success, but I am not counting on it. I have come to terms with the fact that I may not ever be pregnant. I am ok with it, because I know that Garry and I will be parents, it may take a few years for adoption to come through for us, but I am confident that at some point we will be parents. That knowledge has taken the pressure off of me, which is a nice feeling.
That brings me to a decision I recently made. At the end of this cycle our journey to have a baby will be over. Either it will end with me finally getting pregnant, or it will end with the road to adoption beginning. Either way I have decided that this blog will be ending with my infertility journey. I went back and read through the whole blog the other day. I cried a lot. There are so many things in here that I want to put behind me at the end of all of this. I might start fresh with a new blog about whatever the next journey is, we'll see. For now I am concentrating on making it through this last IVF with my sanity intact. Ok, off to meet with my old friend the dildo cam!
I know we've been out of touch, but I haven't stopped thinking about you. I will keep you in my thoughts even more this month! I'm in awe of your strength and positive attitude.
ReplyDelete