I am thinking about coming out of the infertility closet. It isn't a huge secret, and I am sure there are lots of people that have their suspicions. After all, I used to talk non-stop about how many kids Garry and I would have and when we would have them. Ahhh the optimism I had pre-infertility. So I am sure there are some people that have put two and two together and saw that it added up to zero kids.
But recently I have started thinking that it is a waste of energy to try and keep it secret at all. This journey is such a huge part of my life, and outside of my family and a few close friends, I pretty much pretend like it doesn't exist. So I am debating whether or not I should take this blog public, as in Facebook public. I am contemplating posting the blog on Facebook as part of National Infertility Awareness Week (4/24-30). Last year there were a few ladies that had status updates everyday of NIAW and I so wished I was brave enough to do that.
The end of this part of the journey seems to be looming closer and closer. Baby or not, we will be done with treatments in 2011. Either one of the next two IVFs will work, or we will be living child-free until we come to an agreement about adoption. If that happens no one in my life will really know. They will all think we just don't want kids. For some reason that thought just rubs me the wrong way. I want people to know that we longed for children, suffered for them, and may never have them. I don't know why I feel so strongly about this right now, but I do. Obviously I have to discuss it with Garry first. After all we share 75% of the same friends on Facebook.
This was all to say that there may be some changes coming to the blog in the next few weeks. I will have to go through and clean up the blog a little, maybe take some of the more graphic stuff out. I would also really like to organize it better, I would love to have a tool bar at the top that has all the different posts categorized into Infertility, Baking, and Crohn's posts so it is easier to navigate. But given my very poor web skills that probably won't happen.
Feel free to chime in on whether or not you think I should go public with our journey. I always love getting advice and opinions on here.