In the past two weeks it seems like bad news just keeps raining down on me. First my Mother In Law got hospitalized for kidney failure and low heart rate. It was very scary there for a couple days. Thankfully she was released a couple days later, but she will most likely need dialysis once a week from now on. Then I found out yesterday that my Uncle was admitted to the hospital for headaches and disorientation. It turns out he has spinal meningitis. He has some of the best doctors treating him, so we are very hopeful that he will be OK. He will definitely need lots of rehab to be able to speak normally again. On top of that my sister had a colonoscopy to try and figure out what is causing her stomach problems, but they didn't give her enough drugs during the procedure and she could feel and remembers everything. She was in a lot of pain and, lets face it, that is not a procedure you want to remember in the first place.
This was all on top of everything else that is already going on in my life. The fertility problems, the hubs changing jobs, my extreme dislike for my job right now, and the surprise bout of strep throat that decided to descend on me yesterday. It has all just been a little too much for me.
But the good thing is people that you never thought would step up and be there for you start coming out of the wood work. I broke down and started sobbing at work yesterday because it all just came crashing down on me. I walked in and one of my co-workers asked how I was, and I couldn't even fathom how to answer that question and started sobbing. Before I knew it another co-worker comes rushing up and starts patting my back and asking me what's wrong and do I want to talk about it. Then I come into work today and she has a card for me that says "Thinking of you" and a very sweet note from her inside. I started tearing up again and had to walk outside so I wouldn't have another break down. But that little gesture meant so much to me. I don't think she'll ever know how much it helped.
Then there are the dozens of women that I only know through screen names and facebook pages that sent me words of condolence and understanding. You see I post on a discussion board for infertile women. But we share so much more than that. We talk about what is going on in our lives in general, what we are excited about, and what we are scared of. Because as any woman that has ever dealt with fertility issues knows, IF starts to creep into every aspect of your life. For instance the second thought to go through my head when I found out about my MIL was "She can't die before we have kids!" The first thought was "oh god is she OK" of coarse. But the women on the infertility board understand all of this. When I went back to my post about everything that was going on it just struck me how much these women help me everyday. Even on days when I don't have it in me to post much, they are there helping each other, on the ready for the next question or crisis. And those twenty some replies to my post just made me feel supported even more than I already did.
It was then that I realized how much I have to be happy about. I have a husband that loves me and is willing to sleep on the couch so I can have the whole bed to myself when I am sick. I have family that at the drop of a hat are on the phone calling each other when anything goes wrong, and are willing to drive in the middle of the night to be with you when there is an emergency. I have a few friends that I know I can call/email/or text and they will be there to listen. Everything in my life may not be perfect all the time, hell it can be down right crappy at times. But at the core, it is good. In the middle of all this crap happening in my life it was really nice to be reminded of that.
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