While I was doing my second injection of the day yesterday it occurred to me how funny the position I find myself in right now really is. And not only because at the time I was wedged in a tiny bathroom stall with all my meds lined up on the toilet paper dispenser. It is funny because five years ago I was terrified to even take a pill.
I lived a mostly chemical free life up until I got diagnosed with Crohn's. Not out of a sense of morality or "my body is a temple" or anything like that. Purely out of fear. I have never done recreational drugs because I have always been afraid of getting caught, or doing something dumb while stoned. I can count the number of times I have truly gotten drunk (not just tipsy off a few classes of wine) on one hand, mostly because I hate throwing up and equate drinking too much with puking. I have hated taking pills since I was a kid, my mom would have to mix them in with my applesauce when I was sick. Even as adult I would avoid pills unless it was absolutely necessary. Garry used to laugh at me when we first started living together because it was a ten minute process for me to take a medium sized pill. First I had to stare it down for five minutes, then it would take four minutes for me to swallow it without gagging.
Then I got diagnosed with Crohn's and had to drink a bunch of nasty radioactive drinks for different tests. Now swallowing a pill doesn't seem so bad. When I think about my reluctance to swallow pills all those years ago it makes me laugh now. I can do a subQ injection in two minutes flat from mixing to throwing away the needle. I have a feeling if I needed to do an IM injection I would be able to, but I haven't yet.
I realize it is trivial, but that change seems so incredible to me. In five years I have gone from being scared of all medications, medically necessary or recreational, to taking five pills and two injections a day. And I am happy to do it.