Thursday, August 5, 2010

Watch Out for the Other Shoe....

Cause I swear it is coming. Things have been way too good the past couple days, something has got to give. The other shoe is going to come crashing down, I just know it.

First and foremost, my uncle is doing a lot better. He is home, and he knows his name and can say it. If you remember a few weeks ago I posted that he had Spinal Meningitis and when they asked what his name was he said "No." Apparently now he is back to his old ways at home, sneaking cheesecake behind my Aunt's back (he is on a quest to find the world's best cheesecake.)

Then we found out today that G's new job is going to pay more than we thought. His new job is 99% tips based, so we had to wait until he had a paycheck with two weeks of tips on it to know how things were looking. And they are looking good. Obviously his pay checks will fluctuate based on how generous people decide to be, but for now at least things are looking up financially. We even got to pay off a couple credit cards this week.

Then today I got the best news regarding fertility stuff since we started. I was told last week that the medications I need for our next cycle were going to cost around $850 dollars. We could swing it thanks to the saving we have been doing, but still, that number hurt a little. Dr. F said he wanted to work with the pharmacy and our insurance to find the cheapest drug available to us and the pharmacy would call to confirm the order when they got the price down a little. I wasn't expecting much, after all I had been told several times that drugs were not covered by my insurance, and I was OK with it because so much is covered.

Today I got the call from the specialty pharmacy. Thanks to Dr. F changing the drugs we will use and working with my insurance, we will only have to pay $70 for our meds! Apparently I was misinformed when I was told no meds were covered, actually they cover one med, Gonal F. Dr. F originally ordered Follistim, but since it wasn't covered he switched the order b/c he was going to use a voucher for one free vial of Gonal F. But it turns out it was covered. In addition he got the trigger injection covered too. I have no clue how he did this since I have had to pay the full price for it three times now, but he did. So I only have to pay two $30 co-pays and a $10 copay for the Lupron. The best part is if this cycle doesn't work and we end up moving onto IVF we won't have to pay much more than $70 for IVF meds.

I was so happy when I got the phone call I had to go hide in the bathroom at work to stop myself from crying. Now we can convert our IF savings account into a Nursery savings account. This gives me so much hope for our cycle, it is actually kind of scary. I was trying to keep my hope in check, because hope can be dangerous. Hope hurts, especially when it is crushed. I have been crushed enough for one year.

But now it is running wild inside my head. I know what it must feel like to be the furniture in my house when Wallace gets hyper and starts running and bounding off the couch and goes sliding into the dining room table. Because that is what it feels like is happening inside my head. Thoughts like "This is going to work" bounds off the side of my brain and collides with thoughts like "what color will we paint the nursery when this works?" I am in dangerous territory. The 110 pound dog running amok inside my head is named Hope and it could quite possibly leave more damage than any real dog ever could.

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